For those of you arriving late, I'm taking People Magazines Sexiest Men and replacing them with my own picks.
People's Choice
Ashton Kutcher
Val's Choice
Ashton Kutcher
Okay, as much as I like to be contrary, I can't really fight this one. I was almost able to convince myself to find a replacement for him based on how utterly and completely annoying he is on MTV's Punk'd, but looking for pictures of him I realized that I just had to give in. I mean, just look into his eyes in that last picture and tell me you don't want to marry him. Demi who?
For those of you arriving late, I'm taking People Magazines Sexiest Men and replacing them with my own picks. I do this because I do not want to study and this is more fun...
People's Choice Lenny Kravitz
Okay, I will be the first to admit that sans dreadlocks, Lenny Kravitz is a sexy sexy (sexy) man. (Dreadlocks don't do anything for me. They look dirty.) In that one video where he walks around bare-ass naked... I mean, wow! (I don't remember which, and I'm entirely too lazy... er, busy to look it up. Brownie points to whomever wants to figure that out for me.) So, I almost feel guilty replacing him on the list. But worry not, for I have found a worthy stand-in!
Val's Choice Quddus
While I'm quite positive this slice of sexy has a last name, I don't really know what it is. But who cares right? It just adds to his mystique. If you, like myself, have watched TRL a total of two times in your entire life, you would still remember and treasure every minute of it, for those were precious minutes where Quddus graced your screen. Unfortunately, Quddus apparently is no longer with MTV, and is back on the air in his home dimension of Canada. Damn you, Canada!
Sorry, couldn't resist that picture! Even in a police mugshot he does look boyishly cute, I will admit. Still, for my boyishly cute fix, I'd rather turn to...
Val's Choice
Tom Lenk
You may recognize him as Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Andrew, and if you don't, what's your problem? He played Andrew as a lovable closeted gay goof ball ex-arch villain turned reluctant hero sidekick. And I know I don't have to tell you how sexy that was. I mean, look at him!
***Bonus Trivia***
Buzz on the street (and by "street" I mean "internet") has Tom Lenk reprising his Andrew role on an upcoming Angel. That's right! David Boreanaz and Tom Lenk all in one episode. Oh, the homoerotic subtext possibilities!
Did I say "scorching hot" in my last post? Well, he has his moments. A little more consistent is...
Val's Choice
Johnathon Schaech
My pal John here is one of the more underappreciated and underexposed hotties in Hollywood. You may remember him from That Thing You Do! but he's played as a sex-AY brooding vampire in Forsaken and a rogueish sex fiend in Araki's Doom Generation. Like Brad, this man is H-O-T, but he tends to clean himself a little better in a public, edging Bradley out in my book.
***Bonus Trivia***
Johnathon Schaech was or is dating Christina Applegate (I don't know which, I don't really keep up with these things.) Brad Pitt is married to Jennifer Aniston. On Friends Applegate and Aniston play sisters Amy and Rachel. So Brad and John are practically brothers!! (Only when I imagine it in my mind, they're more, say... lovers than brothers. Try imaging it yourself, it's fun!)
So, People released their list of the 10 Sexiest Men and the Sexiest Man Alive. In my opinion, their picks range from boring (Denzel Washington) to overrated (Russell Crowe). Sure there's a few geniune hotties in there... (I mean obviously Brad Pitt is scorching hot, but do we really need to be reminded of that every year?) but I think there are many men who are equally hot and/or hotter than the men on the People's list.
So being as prone to making lists as I am, and having what is obviously excellent taste in men, I have decided to unveil Val's TM 10 Sexiest Men and Sexiest Man Alive list. One post at a time I will reveal one man from People's list, and the corresponding man whom they should have chosen. Excited? Me too. Here we go...
People's Choice:
George Clooney
Sure he's attractive enough in a your father's brother's best-friend's 40-something year old drinking buddy sort of way. Me, I like...
Val's Choice:
David Boreanaz
This guy has everything that George Clooney has... square chin, a rugged manly appeal, broad shoulders, etc.... but he one-ups George by taking all that and making it ten times sexier. Smooth skin, sexy hair, and a melt-me smile make this guy way hotter than Mr. Clooney. Besides, he stars on one of the coolest TV shows on the planet. Mr. Clooney stars in movies that I don't like. You see the difference?
Hooray for mix CDs!! They always brighten my day. I just made a new one today, and though I would typically not bore anyone with the contents of such a disc (excluding those of you unfortunate enough to have to ride in my car), I wanted everyone to be absolutely clear that I am, in fact, a 12 year old girl...
The Mix CD!!!
1- Somnambulist - BT
2- Everytime - Britney Spears
3- Force of Gravity - BT
4- So Yesterday - Hilary Duff
5- Dark Heart Dawning - BT
6- Me Against the Music (Remix) - Britney & Madonna
7- The Great Escape - BT
8- 100 Years - Five for Fighting
9- Circles - BT
10- Milkshake - Kelis
11- Animals - BT
12- Amazing - Josh Kelley
13- Communicate - BT
14- Toxic - Britney Spears
15- The Only Constant is Change - BT
You will note the abundance of BT tracks. If anyone is not familiar with him, please avail yourself of a free viewing of his latest video for Somnambulist at www.btmusic.com. You will note that while he looks mildly ridiculous doing that weird hand thing, and his hair is rather unfortunate (I liked it much better shorter), he still is one of the sexiest men alive. Plus he's hella talented.
I saw the Texas Chainsaw Massacre the other day, and it made quite the impression on me. I mean sure, it was all scary and gorey and entertaining and stuff, but that's not really what I took away from it. What I did get out of the movie was the name "Kemper." I am absolutely in love with this name. When I eventually find myself in a committed relationship with the maturity and emotional and financial stability that a child requires (I estimate that I will be approximately 70 years old at this time), I am so naming my first male child Kemper. I anticipate that my son will not mind in the least that he is named after one of the main characters in a slasher flick. I can just picture him on the playground... "I was named after my grandfather, where does your name come from, Kemper?" "Well, you see, I was named after this guy in this cheesy slasher flick (SPOILER WARNING) who was killed and had his face removed and sewn into a fashionable mask(End SPOILER WARNING)." On second thought, maybe Kemper is more of a dog name anyway. I suspect that a little puppy Kemper would have slightly less emotional baggage tied to having such a name.
It's a good name though. It's all unique and hippyish without being too hippyish (like Peace, River, or Pothead.) Make a mental note, future husbands, I'm quite attached to this name, so be forewarned. (Granted, I become attached and unattached to things rather quickly... A week later and I'll be all, "Kemper, whuh?")
On a random note, I'm not really clear on why Evolutionists and Fundamentalist Christians are so at odds with each other. Can't we all get along? I mean, is it so hard to believe that a God would use evolution as a means of creation? Say, perhaps, that the seven days of creation are metaphorical days that represent periods of time and that God guided all of creation in 6 stages of evolution (with one big rest stage at the end.) Not that I really care or have an opinion on any of this, I just fail to see why the two theories have to be incompatible. You see, these are the things that I think about on my drive to school.
Hot needles, miracles, and House of Leaves, oh my!
In an attempt to add one more book to the pathetic list of books I've read this year, I have started reading House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. I hesitate to call it the Best Book Ever(!!) because I'm afraid I might jinx it, but if my suspicions prove correct, I may have to bite the bullet and make that proclamation soon.
In other news, Toby appears to be grasping the concept of asking to go outside to do his business. This may sound like non-news to the general public, but anyone who has tried to potty train a dog realizes that this news is only a few angels shy of an absolute walk-on-water caliber miracle. I think that my faith in just about everything has been restored. Next on his training agenda will be paying our bills for us and taking my Econ tests for me. Given his progress so far, I estimate that this will be accomplished any day now.
In other other news, I want to study Accounting today about as much as I want to have a hot needle inserted into my eye. Perhaps a little less. I may insert a hot needle into my eye after studying and update you on which was more enjoyable.
My personal favorites are Habu the Hindu Elephant, and Mr. Gruff the Atheist Goat (He lashes out at children!).
I can't tell if his site is a joke or not. I mean, it seems terribly earnest, but the online merchandise shop sells a "Ruby Matrimony Thong" in junior sizes ("This uncomfortable undergarment will be a daily reminder to unmarried women to find a husband and a emergency moral reminder to her would-be-suitor.") I mean, seriously, it's a thong for juniors. I can't imagine that being serious.
I like to list things. I just do. Deal with it. Here's a list of books I read this year:
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand- This is one of those books that when you finish it you really feel like you really accomplished something worthwhile. That's not to say that I liked it or disliked it, it just all seemed rather important. It was recommended to me by a friend who insisted that it was one of the best books ever!!! I don't know that I would go so far as to say that, but I don't regret the small chunk of my life that went into reading it. I do, however, regret the small chunk of my life that went into reading the last 100 pages. I don't imagine anyone would care if I spoiled the ending by saying that the Industrialist League of Super-Hero Rescue Commandos was a bit... much. But then the book was a bit much of a lot of things...
Girl with a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier- I know the phrase "Don't judge a book by it's cover" is tired and cliche, but I would have done well to heed it in this case. I bought the book because I love the painting on the cover (Girl with a Pearl Earring by Vermeer). It had good reviews and was inspired by an amazing piece of artwork, so I figured, how can you go wrong? I stopped halfway through. It wasn't terrible, it just wasn't terribly good. It was boring, plain, and predictable. Halfway through the book and I still didn't give about a damn about this girl. And now, sadly, I think I like the painting a little less...
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling- I have no qualms admitting that I am pop culture whore on this one. The books are hardly literary masterpieces, but they're a lot of fun. I've heard complaints that this one is a little slower and duller than the past entries in the series. Personally, it's my favorite.
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown- Quite possibly the worst book I have ever finished. Absolutely GOD-AWFUL. I would not recommend this to anyone who reads above an 8th grade reading level, because it will just become tiresome to you. It reads like a movie shooting script, only for a very very bad movie. The characters are painfully two-dimensional and the plot is absurd and predictable. I thought at first that I liked it for its interesting historical trivia, but after awhile the endless references to the "sacred feminine" made me feel vaguely ill. Stephen King called this book "dreck" and while I would typically refrain from using Stephen King as an arbiter of good taste, in this case he got it right.
Land's End by Michael Cunningham- Best book thus far this year. You'll find it in the travel section of your bookstore as a travel guide for Provincetown, but it's really more of a journal of his observations and experiences there. As is the case with anything Cunningham writes, it's simply amazing. I would recommend anything he writes, particularly the Pulitzer prize winning The Hours, my favorite book of all time.
Sadly, that's all I've read this year. In my defense I'm a college student who does a lot of not-for-fun reading too, and Atlas Shrugged was in and of itself a year's worth of reading.
